Happiest of birthdays to

our dearest GERARDO!


(I'm not sure if he reads this, actually, but still.)

Also, I was deleting stuff from my flash drive last night, and I found this. Brought memories of a HILARIOUS, wonderful, amazing night. And, if you have yours, you should post it, too!


Here's to you. Happy 19th, Jerry!

***

When Lynn pulled me into an empty dorm room Saturday morning, I was like: what in the world? I soon learned, though, that I was to roast the coolest, palest, El Salvadorian I know: Gerardo Diaz-Bazan.

So I made a list of the top ten things I love about Jerry.

First and foremost, his guns. A little while back, I asked Gerardo whether he had picked up any cool American slang to take home. He immediately replied: oh, yeees – guns. [flex] I think he became quite famous for these guns. At our Ethiopian dinner, Spencer asked Gerardo to show off his famous biceps. With the macho-ist machismo, he ordered: “Shut your eyes, girls. Here.”

The first week, I had an inkling that Gerardo might like soccer. I remember walking into the lounge, half-drunk on race and freedom and slavery, to see the World Cup blaring, and him intensely fixated on the screen, going [hands on head] “Oh nooo. Oh nooo.” I think that was the conception of MANY pick-up soccer games (none of them played with an actual soccer ball, mind you). I could be sure that when we heard a bonk…bonkbonkbonk in the hallway at 2 a.m., Gerardo would be one of the parties involved.

Jerry has a wonderful laugh. Some people laugh like chipmunks on crack, some people laugh silently. Gerry has a laugh something like a lion going through a voice change. It’s so infectious and I have to say, it just makes me happy.

In this class about race, the subject of skin color is often raised. Gerardo’s skin color, though, opens up a whole new order of classification. His color is most accurately described as translucent. His parents call him “Chele,” which means “pale one” in Spanish. When he and Ryan took a photo together at the cheesecake restaurant, it was blinding.

Gerardo also has a special affinity toward women. Or at least women named Jessica Alba. When she was here on campus filming “Bill” in the pool, Gerardo eagerly came to the gym. We watched the filming for a while, but when it was apparent that Jessica wasn’t there, we invited Gerry to go, but he said, in the most earnest way, “Oh nooo, Tracy.” And stayed, nose plastered to the window, for another two hours.

There are many sides to Gerardo. When we switched outfits with our roommates, the TASP community was introduced to a swaggering, cool Rodney…I mean Gerardo dressed in a T-shirt at least twice as big as him and equally loose shorts. First thing in the morning, after he got dressed, he exclaimed, “Oh my goodness. I look like Eminem!” Then, concerned, he asked Rodney…Rodney, will you tell it? [Will a black man beat me?] We could hardly tell the difference between them. Later, in the lunch line, he turned to me and speculated: “Tracy, if I jump, do you think my pants will fall off?” I think we left that experiment…for a later time.

Another quality about Gerardo I really appreciate is his unrivalled ability to hide. Especially
during the game of Sardines, when we had a forty acre area to roam (but no mule…courtesy laugh, courtesy laugh please), Gerardo chooses to climb over a fence and hide in this dumpster receptacle. In the end, he resorted to sticking his head over the fence calling “Taspers! Taspers!” After two days and seven hours, Max and Rodney find him. And the door to the receptacle. If I ever need to run from the police, I’ll have Jerry guide me.

Gerardo always has a bright and enthusiastic attitude during seminar. A particularly memorable incidence: When Professor Brown asked if we were familiar with the perils of white privilege, Gerardo nodded enthusiastically, perhaps not completely understanding. A few days ago, we had a very serious discussion on the implications of racial slurs. Ruben revealed that he had been called the n word before, and Gerardo commented “Ohh, me too.” I think this supportive and exuberant attitude adds greatly to Gerardo’s presence in seminar.

***

Love you all. Am hoping that Stanford/calc/art history/poli sci/various other things don't butcher me this week. Also, I'll let you guys know what happens on Friday. My fingers are crossed for all of us.

TH